No offence, but...

...here are a couple of things we would do differently if we were Bali hawkers.

 

Bali, especially Kuta beach, would be pretty close to perfect if it wasn't for the masses of people trying to sell you things. The same things over and over again...

 

Here are our tips to the hawkers:

• If somebody is wearing a motorcycle helmet, it is probably not a fashion statement. The chance is very high that they actually rented a motorbike to go with it. So don't bother asking if they need transportation.
• When a tourist walk past you, chances are slim that this person would want to buy petrol from you. You should probably think twice before trying to sell them a bottle of petrol if there is no vehicle to put it in.
• If you really need to pee, try not wading out until the water is knee high and then squat down right in front of the tourists. It doesn't look good...
• Yes, boss? is not a way to start a conversation with a stranger.
• As a taxi driver, you should not stop in front of a restaurant and wave at the people still eating asking if they need a ride. This will only cause irritation since you are blocking the road and distrubing people while eating.
• If we did not want your massage/manicure/pedicure/temporary tattoo/sarong sticks/ice cream/wood carvings and what not five minutes ago, we have probably not changed our minds because you try to wake us up when we just fell asleep on the beach. If you wake a sleeping person up, they will most probably not feel like buying anything from you.
• Having a USP (unique selling proposition - for those who have not studied business administration and therefore bothered with it all the time) is definetly a good thing, e.g. the icecream man called Harry had his name written on his hat and screamed "Harry is back again" instead of " iiiii-screeeeaammm" to sell his ice-cream. Definetly a better way to attract customers!

 

Ok, Indonesia is a poor country and people try to do everything to make a living, but that is not an excuse to be a pain in the ass. Actually, we spent more money on the countryside where we were not hassled all the time than we did at Kuta beach when someone was constantly trying to catch our attention and sell us something. Simply offering tourists help in any case they need WHEN THEY ASK FOR IT would do the trick!